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Jun 24, 5:33pm
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•http://www.flickr.com/photos/23765079...
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for S

i think i think too much. i think i care too much, and then - i think i make too many mistakes. i second guess myself and my actions and as a result i spend my time (an odd reflective term) wishing i had not done specific actions, when indeed my natural inclinations are to either: proceed in a rash inherent manner or conversely a soulful internal introverted way, which i find endearing and truthful - but ive lived my life for so long in the other extreme that sitting here looking askance at my life - i know i cannot ignore and pretend i do not have both creatures inside of me.
then there are the people and situations i doth affect: i know i have consequences for my behaviours and thusly why i left certain scenes, but my ability to concentrate for long enough just doesnt seem to work.
i fuck shit up. the end.
i dont want to be domesticated, i dont want to be told what to do. i want to live my life in a swirl of art and understanding of myself and my world. but... i am awash in this for i dont "get" me. i have accepted the shite that has befallen me, and i have done. im ok. there is a generosity in growing up. as for "next" im not sure what tomorrow will gift me, nor tonight: but i am a merciful, kind and giving lass - i know i give more than i take...
and i say:
this hole in my head where memory once lay - i can fill it daily with the thoughts and strums of guitar, words, and smallness - simplicity - four and five leaf clovers, the ideas of japan, the yearnings of one day at a time. i go slow, sometimes i drive too fast - that's all. keep me. sorry.
EDIT June 26, 2008 (pathetic!!!) had to strike that. WHO the FUCK CARES!!! I just walked away. pffff!!
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